Nipped in the bun! The Hamburger of Once Upon a Time!

Azores Tradewinds

One honest, no nonsense Hamburger, simply made of actual ground beef, please.

No shady industrial patty prefab, where upon first bite uncanny, unsavoury flavours seep, imparting curious hints of assorted inner organs and clues of mysterious mish-mash meat blends – highly unlikely even bovine. Thanks.

You know of the ones I speak? What possibly they consist of? Unsure. Craving cognizance thereof – not. What I do know, is feeling thoroughly disappointed and cheated, when pretend patties of sorts vouch their trade in the bun on my plate, purporting delusional titles of Hamburger.

Writing just now, I notice the surge of gratitude for this platform to express my blatant distaste of the pseudo-burger masquerade; it has weighed heavily on my pet peeve list, and stomach, for some time. Please forgive while I shame, while I execute petty rants on poor patty; in it’s defence, it has no blame. I boldly aim only to take advantage of your attention, voice the hunch that pains me; so that they know, that I know. Their dupe. And they get away with it. “They”, who insert it in our buns, claiming it’s something it’s not; thinking we don’t notice, as we with oblivion complacently tuck into their Soylent Green.

That said…

Almost nipping it in the bun, giving up completely on the Hamburger of once upon a time, low and behold it emerged. No longer a myth, but with an actual address on hand I am hot to share with whomever interested, also tired of travesties. Guaranteed to procure that fix when need for Hamburger is acute – trimmings and all – while faithfully also meeting the very culinary patty expectations, that lay there forlorn, forgotten on the sidewalk. The beef of the matter is local Azorean, and grass fed at that.

Should your appetite for detail beg a more sizzling description, a more full-on burger sensation spree to spur on a fat salivating attempt at wooing you to take my word; don’t forget the photo provided to ogle as visual aid. It’s a straight up genuine beef patty, in a great bun – what else can I say? Caramelized, fresh, succulent and tasty. Like it should be.

dav

A hamburger, is a hamburger, is a hamburger. A good hamburger is a standard straight up honest hamburger. One would think it’s impossible to get it wrong; but they do. My unbiased opinion. Sure, have cheese on it, any cheese you like, or bacon, egg, or mushrooms. Whatever. Let it be a chicken burger, turkey or fish burger, a veggie one. Dress it up like your dog (not designer Jeans and sequins, but relish and onions). Make it gourmet? Make my day. But name it like it is. Leave the ‘to fudge’ business out. We’ve been over this…

Hamburger, by the way, a demonym of Hamburg (meaning from Hamburg, as in Germany’s second largest city), has not a thing to do with ham. So is Hamburg the birthplace? A difficult one to place on any factual map. Sources say the sandwich sprouted from many different fountains across continents roughly around the same time (circa mid 1800’s maybe a bit later): could be anywhere from Hamburg Germany to Hamburg, New York. The true origin of the sandwich is unclear relishing in layers of debate.

Forgot to mention that the fries that come along are hand peeled, hand cut and super potato. Herbs trickled on top. Nice touch.

This honest Hamburger, the snack-bar that yields it, no lies, is smack-dab on the A1 conveniently situated en-route between Horta and Feteira.

The name? Azul Pastel! Where to be exact? Rua do Pasteleiro nº 12, Angústias.

Let’s not make this exclusively about hamburgers, when they have so much diverse goodness to offer at Azul Pastel. The hamburger was just my foot in the door. How about a choice of soups, sandwiches hot and cold (with salmon, even? I’m Frikadellen losing my composure), omelets, salads, cakes, waffles, ice-cream, coffee, tea, long drinks, soft drinks, martini, vodka? Yes. Wine. Whiskey. …

dav
dav

All, with splendid ocean views, and the most incredible friendly service with gorgeous smiles, by Rui and company. Rui, the owner, who is there to assure your visit is most pleasant and delectable, while making the most relaxed, easygoing impression running the business, the hostel and snack-bar and, and, and… This all day, every day. He is one of those people you take one look at, and you are put into a very good mood. We like Rui and we love going to Azul Pastel. The venue exudes a lightness, freshness and airiness about it. There is a charm about the place and one always feels welcome. Can’t stop me going back for more!

Angie Reed
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